Title Fight #10: Lesbian Seagull

Engelbert Humperdinck vs. Muhammad Ali... who would your money be on? Well, in the Title Fight, Cassius Clay may well float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, but Arnold George Dorsey has a Lesbian Seagull in his corner.

Lesbian Seagull was written by songwriter and gay rights activist Tom Wilson Weinberg in 1979 in response to a university study of long term monogamous lesbian behaviour in seagulls on Santa Barbara Island, USA. Engelbert's version later featured in the movie Beavis And Butt-Head Do America and was released as a double A side single with The Red Hot Chilli Peppers version of Love Rollercoaster.

"Beat that!" I hear you cry. I'll be Damned if I can't...

Captain Sensible -  The 4 Marys Go Go Dance All Night at the Groovy Cellar

That was the Captain's 1984 b-side of There's More Snakes Than Ladders (as almost featured in this week's Saturday Snapshots). They should both have been hits, if you ask me.

Here's one that Ben suggested. He describes Alpha Male Tea Party as a Maths/Post Rock band. Make of that what you will. I'd be more impressed if they could afford a singer. Still, this one did make me think of George...

Alpha Male Tea Party - You Eat Houmous, Of Course You Listen To Genesis

Speaking of George, here's some Julie Andrews-influenced prog...

Atomic Rooster - A Spoonful Of Bromide (Helps The Pulse Rate Go Down)

And how could I follow that but with a classy slice of soul from 1980? No sniggering on the back row, please... 

Joyce Lawson - Stop Dogging Me

Almost at the end. Just time to squeeze in a 1987 song celebrating the joy of taping your favourite songs off the wireless...

This Poison! - Poised Over The Pause Button

We started today with a Lesbian Seagull. I was going to close with a Canadian Woodpigeon... that just can't get out of bed.

Woodpigeon - In The Battle of Sun vs. Curtains, Sun Loses and We All Sleep Until Noon

However, then I heard this... from gay country star Orville Peck - you know, the guy who wears a mask and loves rattling cages and challenging redneck prejudices. And guess what? He's only roped Willie Nelson to help chuck his latest brickbat... and it's a doozy. Willie, of course, has never been one to shy away from ruffling a few feathers... and at 90, I guess he's long past worrying about upsetting the more conservative members of his fanbase. (UPDATE: Ernie kindly informed me this is a cover version, previously done by Willie, but originally recorded by Ned Sublette back in 1981... when I'm guessing it would have been a lot more controversial.)

Orville Peck & Willie Nelson - Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond Of Each Other  

Neverending Top Ten #6.8: Cup Final

Sunday was the first time in my life I've had a vested interest in a Cup Final.

James - Goal Goal Goal

By hook or by crook, Sam's football team, The Hawks, made it into the local cup final. They were very much the underdogs, and had been all season. It was easy to tell him to relax and enjoy it, that it was just another game, and it didn't matter if his team won or not. What an achievement it was getting to the final anyway! We were proud of him whatever the result. All these things were true, but they were far more true for us, his parents, than for Sam himself. At his age, you still believe that life is fair and that if you try your hardest, the underdogs will come out on top... just like in the movies. Winning is everything.

William Bell - Everybody Loves A Winner

The opposition were a better team though, so the result was inevitable. They also had some particularly unpleasant supporters (mostly older brothers, I guess) who heckled Sam's team from the sidelines and made the final even harder. They were playing in a proper stadium too - well, there were stands on one side, so it was more like an actual stadium than anywhere they'd ever played before. Sam told me later that this in itself made the game tougher - he'd rather just be on a field in the middle of nowhere, like usual.

The Nazz - Only One Winner

Regardless of all this, the Hawks did OK. They didn't win, but they had some good chances and kept the effort up right to the end. They played better football at times, but the goals just didn't come. Still, a 2-0 defeat wasn't the worst they've suffered this year, and we all felt they could hold their heads up high. (Look at me, writing about football: using the vernacular!)

Holly Golightly - Second Place

Although initially sanguine in his defeat, Sam felt the disappointment later in the afternoon. He bounced back pretty quickly though. I admire his resilience... I hope the world doesn't beat that out of him. It's easy to say that losing in a situation like this is a better life lesson than winning... but that's no consolation for a ten year old. 

Namesakes #81: The Rolling Stones

Unbelievable... but true. There's more than one band called The Rolling Stones...

THE ROLLING STONES #1

Let's start in 1930, thirteen years before Mick 'n' Keef were even born. The original Rolling Stones were Jimmie Adams and Bud Jamison, a pair of singing comic vagabonds who toured the US in the early 30s.

THE ROLLING STONES #2

Next stop 1958. Well, 1955 to begin with, as these Rolling Stones originally started out as the backing band of one Lucky Hill from Mississippi. Three years later, they were backing one Andy Anderson (not to be confused with Neighbours love song warbler Angry Anderson). Presumably, Lucky Hill had retired by this point and was living off all the cash he'd made by, ahem, inventing rock 'n' roll...

THE ROLLING STONES #3

From the same Philadelphia-based record label that released a song by "The Beatles" in the mid-70s. Apparently these guys were originally called The Time Tones. According to the label, this was written by M. Jackoff, J. Lemmon and K. Richard, produced by Mickey Most, Andrew Loog Oldham and Philip Spector, and featured "Charlie Watts on toilet". 

  

THE STONES #4

Not technically Rolling, but it takes some stones to name your band The Stones in 1982. These guys were from Dunedin in New Zealand though, so perhaps they'd never heard of Mick n Keef?

  

ROLLING STONES #5

Whereas these American punks were clearly just taking the piss in 1987... in more ways than one.

THE ROLLING STONES #6

From 2019, and a cassette only release called Who the Fuck is Mick Jagger? The Very Best of the Rolling Stones. By this point, all bets are off.

THE ROLLING STONES #7

Not chronologically the newest Rolling Stones, but I saved them for the end anyway... despite being unable to find any info about them on the interweb.

Which Rolling Stones gathered no moss... and which were like a complete unknown?

Cnut Songs #26: Boy Racers

King Cnut could not hold back the tide, and I cannot hold back society's full-throttle descent into dystopia. All I can do is watch helplessly from the sidelines, and nod my head sagely when others hold a mirror up to the madness. 

We live on top of a moor looking down on the picturesque Yorkshire town jumped-up village of Holmfirth. By the way, before I begin today's rant, I discovered my first Holmfirth song earlier this week...

The Watersons - The Holmfirth Anthem

I do like folk music, but that's probably a bit too folky even for me. And it makes the town village sound even more yokely than Last of the Summer Wine managed, which is going some. We are way more cosmopolitan than the Watersons give us credit for. The police were called to investigate a couple of weekends back because some Huddersfield gangster fired a gun outside one of the local hostile-ries. They shut the road for over 24 hours while forensic teams combed the area for a bullet. I'm not sure they found it, but they probably found lots of dog shit. Clearly we're less sedate than Chatteris...

Car crime's low, gun crime's lower,
The town hall band CD, it's a grower,
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce,
Although there was a drive by shouting once.

Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris

I'm getting sidetracked. Today's post isn't about local gun-toting hoodlums... if it's about hoodlums of a different variety.

Morrissey - Boy Racer

The Haywains - Boy Racers a Go Go

Squid - Boy Racers

The Wolfhounds - Boy Racers, Rm1

Metronomy - Boy Racers

Boyracer - I've Got It And It's Not Worth Having

Who knew there could be so many songs relating to this particular kind of social irritant? 

Do I need to add much more? We live up on top of a moor, and though the road that passes our house is just a link connecting two main roads, the boy racers still love to floor their pedals as they pass us by. I'll never understand this, or why your car needs more than one exhaust pipe, or why you prefer a car that rumbles like a jackhammer. If my car made that kind of noise, I'd be taking it to the garage. 

Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't just to whinge about boy racers. It's to highlight another excellent song by Wolves of Glendale. Be warned, I will probably find any excuse to feature this band over the next few months. Those of you who feel that comedy and popular music should never mix, feel free to look away now. The rest of you... well, all I can add is that Louise generally has very little time for much of the music I feature on this blog, but she loves this. Then again, she hates boy racers even more than I do. Here's a tip - don't switch it off until it's well past the 90 second mark...

Snapshots #339: A Top Ten Board Game Songs

We do like a good board game at Top Ten Towers. I know, rock n roll, right?

Here are ten rock n roll board games...

10. Who will be at Lester's party, inside the crowd?

Who will be at Lester's party?

The Beatles - Ticket To Ride

Ticket To Ride is my favourite boardgame. Somewhat ironically, it has been replaced by a game called Wingspan as the favourite of everybody else in the house. "It's only the game Ticket To Ride could have been," they tell me.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, The Beatles are on stage in that picture, playing to a crowd of 18 people, in December 1961.

9. Dancing with German Measles.

Rubella Ballet - Twister

I had C down to get that one. I did however question whether Twister was a boardgame. The web of lies tells me it is, so that's OK.

8. Orbiting Atlanta.

The Georgia Satellites - Battleship Chains

7. Jett joins Juliet Bravo.

Imagine Joan Jett was a a policewoman...

Joan As Policewoman - Game Of Life

6. Grape or Dick?

Moby - Go

5. I'll give them 2:1 odds...

A Certain Ratio - Guess Who

4. Rhett smoked a bong, and it really messed him up.

"Rhett smoked a bong" was an anagram...

Booker T & The MGs - Chinese Checkers

I couldn't find any songs about Draughts.

3. Listen to the music playing in her head. 

That's almost a line from Lady Madonna...

Madonna - Sorry

2. Humpless camels on drugs.

Llamas are camelids without humps.

The High Llamas - Three Point Scrabble

1. Attendant and Richard's lad.

A paige and Dick's son.

Elaine Paige & Barbara Dickson - I Know Him So Well

From the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical, Chess...

A few more I didn't have room for in the games cupboard...

Parquet Courts - College Chess Circuit

Seafood - Boggle

Captain Sensible - There's More Snakes Than Ladders

Ride - Mouse Trap

Ariana Grande & Victoria Monét - Monopoly

We'll play again next Saturday morning...